Comforter

 © Marie-Lan Nguyen / Wikimedia Commons

 

O death, where is thy sting? O grave, where is thy victory? The sting of death is sin; and the strength of sin is the law. But thanks be to God, which giveth us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.                                                                                                1 Corinthians 15:55-57 KJV                                     

Death is everywhere. 

Innocent babies that die before they are ready to be born or mere hours after they make their appearance. Beloved animal companions whose age shows, and cancer grows. Dear friends whose bodies fail even while the spirit is present. In a grotesque war where civilians are targeted as political means. We live in the valley where the shadows of death grow long as the sun quietly slips out of view. 

I believe in Christ's resurrection. I believe in the resurrection of the dead. At this moment, those events seem so long ago and so far off. Death still stings. It breaks my heart. It weighs my spirit down. It catches in my throat attempting to take me as well. 

Death is a reality of this world. Christians say it is because the world fell from perfection when Adam sinned. Since I know no other world, this is irrelevant. No life support or cryogenics or even technological implants can prevent the inevitability of death. Death comes for us all. The worst is when death comes to our spirits before our bodies. 

After a recent and devastating loss of a beautifully, perfectly formed, knit together by God baby, I was given the honor to care for the child and her mother. While her mother rested, I washed the baby in the sweet smell that causes everyone to inhale deeply, swaddled her in nice blankets, took pictures of her tiny feet and her long eye lashes, clipped a lock of hair, and made the most realistic plaster casts of her hands and feet. Her mother will not be able to take her child home, but I gave her as many memories as I could. 

For me, I took home the gratitude that I was able to care for her mother, and I also took home the visual picture of a lifeless and cold newborn. I began to think about the sibling who came into the world "sleeping." How I was told that she was perfect as well, but of course she wasn't perfect since there was no life breath in her. I see, eyes blurred with tears, that death is not a natural stage of life. There is nothing natural about these deaths, of any death or decay. It is evil at work-breaking physical bodies and breaking hearts.

Railing against the evil in death is senseless since it comes for us all and simply hardens the heart until grieving is impossible. Instead, I look back at what the psalmist says, "I will not fear evil because You [all Power, all Compassionate Heart, all Mercy, all Goodness] are with [as a presence, on the side of] me." 

What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, 

who can be against us? Romans 8:31

Sometimes I struggle to remind myself that God is on my side and with me, I struggle to remind myself that God even cares some moments. When I consider how protective I am over people that have let me down and been unkind to me, if even I can do that, how much more would a God who is all Power, all Good, and all Love care and protect me? Through this time, as I walk this valley of shadows, I will not despair. I trust that my God walks with me and comforts the heart that aches from as evil works in our world. 

Armchair QB-Pharisee or Sinner

 This week we talked abour Luke 5: 27-31.  You can read the passage here. 

Do you know that feeling of being picked last for a team in gym class?  Or maybe you know the feeling of being talked about because you had more than the others? Or how about just being misunderstood? I am sure that Levi dealt with feelings like this. Tax collectors were employed by the people in charge, could rat you out or extort you. Tax collectors were known to pocket some of your money, but to whom could you plead your case? No one. Levi was a scoundrel, not liked and hated, seen by others as a traitor to his people. Why would Jesus to speak to a person like this? Did you see what he said to Levi?

"Follow me."

I doubt Jesus was just trying to get out of paying taxes. Jesus offered to share his life with Levi, the Hebrew name of the apostle that we come to know as Matthew. A tax collector appears to have it all-money and power. Only Jesus saw his need for a leader, for belonging. Levi responded as we would like to: he just left everything and followed him. Let's face it, we often don't. We work Jesus into our lives rather than work a life around Jesus. This tax collector had money and power, things many people think will soothe them, and he found them inadequate enough to leave them to follow Jesus. 

The best part is that Levi is so excited, he has a dinner party to introduce his friends to Jesus. Of course, the judgmental church people end up there too. Maybe simple nosiness, maybe to antagonize their enemy, who is not satan or evil by the way but instead, a God that is too loving, too forgiving, too inclusive. 

I always wonder am I a Pharisee or a sinner. Not in the way that I don't need salvation, but do I criticize and try to micromanage God, or do I gratefully welcome Jesus into my life and drop things to follow him? Then I think about the Church and wonder who are we? I want to be Jesus. I want to include people in my life that need love more than lectures. When I speak, I want my words to be full of the Truth but Grace-filled too. I know this can work on the heart because it worked on mine. Unlikely friends, we became extended family if you will. We were invited to do life with them. Sometime during the life of camping and meals and long talks, I could sense my heart softening until I chose my path to follow Jesus, even as imperfectly as I do. 

There are outcasts all around the Church-Christ's body in this world. Do we love them like Jesus did or just convict them like the Pharisees? Are we so desirous to be like Jesus that we are willing to leave our expectations and agendas to sit down and eat dinner with people who might never see themselves in a gathering of a church? Are we willing to speak truthfully about grace rather than simply instruct them to "go and sin no more" after dessert? Are we really just one beggar showing another where to get bread or are we a storekeeper now?

When I think about how Jesus approached outcasts the qualities that I see are gentleness, humility, protectiveness, compassionate, and honest. As I desire to be like Jesus, I try to develop these characteristics, which, are the opposite of the Pharisees, and some of the Church. I am grateful for my church community that embraces outcasts and welcomes them to their feasts. I also want to become as gracious and welcoming as they are. Until I do, I will still invite people to eat. I will stumble in attempts to speak truth gracefully. I will fail in boldness, but I will not give up. Jesus called out to my heart, "Follow me," and I was, and am, given such grace that I need to share it. I don't deserve it anymore than Levi did, and in our amazement, we invite others to come and meet Jesus as well. It's just what we outcasts do.