Comforter

 © Marie-Lan Nguyen / Wikimedia Commons

 

O death, where is thy sting? O grave, where is thy victory? The sting of death is sin; and the strength of sin is the law. But thanks be to God, which giveth us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.                                                                                                1 Corinthians 15:55-57 KJV                                     

Death is everywhere. 

Innocent babies that die before they are ready to be born or mere hours after they make their appearance. Beloved animal companions whose age shows, and cancer grows. Dear friends whose bodies fail even while the spirit is present. In a grotesque war where civilians are targeted as political means. We live in the valley where the shadows of death grow long as the sun quietly slips out of view. 

I believe in Christ's resurrection. I believe in the resurrection of the dead. At this moment, those events seem so long ago and so far off. Death still stings. It breaks my heart. It weighs my spirit down. It catches in my throat attempting to take me as well. 

Death is a reality of this world. Christians say it is because the world fell from perfection when Adam sinned. Since I know no other world, this is irrelevant. No life support or cryogenics or even technological implants can prevent the inevitability of death. Death comes for us all. The worst is when death comes to our spirits before our bodies. 

After a recent and devastating loss of a beautifully, perfectly formed, knit together by God baby, I was given the honor to care for the child and her mother. While her mother rested, I washed the baby in the sweet smell that causes everyone to inhale deeply, swaddled her in nice blankets, took pictures of her tiny feet and her long eye lashes, clipped a lock of hair, and made the most realistic plaster casts of her hands and feet. Her mother will not be able to take her child home, but I gave her as many memories as I could. 

For me, I took home the gratitude that I was able to care for her mother, and I also took home the visual picture of a lifeless and cold newborn. I began to think about the sibling who came into the world "sleeping." How I was told that she was perfect as well, but of course she wasn't perfect since there was no life breath in her. I see, eyes blurred with tears, that death is not a natural stage of life. There is nothing natural about these deaths, of any death or decay. It is evil at work-breaking physical bodies and breaking hearts.

Railing against the evil in death is senseless since it comes for us all and simply hardens the heart until grieving is impossible. Instead, I look back at what the psalmist says, "I will not fear evil because You [all Power, all Compassionate Heart, all Mercy, all Goodness] are with [as a presence, on the side of] me." 

What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, 

who can be against us? Romans 8:31

Sometimes I struggle to remind myself that God is on my side and with me, I struggle to remind myself that God even cares some moments. When I consider how protective I am over people that have let me down and been unkind to me, if even I can do that, how much more would a God who is all Power, all Good, and all Love care and protect me? Through this time, as I walk this valley of shadows, I will not despair. I trust that my God walks with me and comforts the heart that aches from as evil works in our world.